One day at a time

another hiatus

2010-07-09T12:35:00.001-07:00

so I know I have done this before, but I am feeling it is time to take a little hiatus from the blogging world. As much fun as I have had.. and maybe some have enjoyed reading or viewing photos... i am feeling a bit overwhelmed in this blog world and needing to take some time off.... how funny that I can feel guilty for not blogging on a regular basis... pathetic I know

but this summer is just flying by, and with this new little guy soon approaching I know that life is going to just get crazier.

I have so enjoyed my outlet, and who knows i may need it back sooner then what I thought!

But until that point.. Good Bye Blog World.

I will leave with one last photo-- my Mayes family :) it is big and it is wonderful !!! And I am so proud to be apart of ALL of the families that are apart of me- MAYES,BRYAN, CLARK, CANADA,COONS

they are all amazingly wonderful and I am extremely BLESSED!!! (this is just the family that recently took a large group photo and so i have it available to post!!)
everyone was here, except my oldest David who got to spend the 4th with his friend on a lake (jealous) but that's the rest of us... and i love them all :)

GOOD BYE

Of Course I Cried

2010-05-26T17:15:00.000-07:00

( this is David's Kindergarten Graduation)

(and this is his 5th grade Graduation)

You hear it all the time "Time Goes By SO Fast" which I always try to keep that in mind, yet why am I Always surprised whe something happens so fast in my life that it brings me to tears?

David graduated 5th grade, He is now no longer a kid in elementary school..... umm WHAT? I seriously don't know how it happened so fast.

I am so proud of this young man and truly look forward to seeing what God has in store for him (as well as Steve and I.... we are the ones parenting this man... Lord Bless Us ALL)

If I had a garden I would TOTALLY do this

2010-05-18T17:07:00.000-07:00

How Cute Are These?!? They might be the reason I start one up... Next Summer of course

And since I DO have a bench that could use some pillows to brighten it up

What about these fun little gems

Now I just have to figure out away to earn some money to buy these beauties!! Anyone want to pay me to ....well give me a reason and I will let you know if I'm up for it?

Sometimes I forget people read my blog

2010-05-17T08:46:00.001-07:00

I just want to say thank you to those who read my last post and put encourgaing words for me.

I am so grateful for the loved ones that God has blessed me with that are there beside me either in person or in spirit. It is your love and prayers in my life that makes the difference. Which in turn helps me to know that you feel my love and prayers for you!

I want to make one thing clear about my last post... I did not want to play the sorry little ole me card. And now regret writting that post, just a bit.

It was me expressing my feelings at the time, I was getting them out and starting afresh. But like my title expresses I sometimes forget that others read my blog.

I know that there is so much going on in the world that is far beyond my very worse day!

And I know that there are humans with pain that is more then I can imagine, and for me to struggle with my situation seems like a joke to some.

But Praise God that He does care about my struggles too, no matter how big or small, He does care and wants to be there for me, To Be My Provider!

I truly do appreciate the prayers and love, I just want to say that I do Praise The Lord for He has been Good to ME, in good times and in bad and I am in love with a God that does that for me.

And it's the good days, like today, that make me know that God is just as good in the bad days.

But maybe that is a fault of mine (or of Christians as a whole)

We don't talk about our struggles, our bad days, are days when we say "WHY GOD WHY?" ENOUGH

We all have them, we are all human, no matter what situation in your life you are going through you have issues that you question... but I (we) don't want to talk (blog) about those...because that would be self-centered?? that would be saying we don't believe God is good???

why do I not want to share that part of my life??

Why oh why is it so hard to share when we are truly struggling, or feel bad...

Or maybe it is just me that feels this way.. and whoever is reading this is on the other side of a horrible rambling session

so. sorry.

So now I am confused.... am i sorry for posting my struggles? or am I sorry that I don't share enough that I am human, and have them just like the rest of the human race? God made me human right?

He could have made me a bird, a fish, or a tree ..right??

but he made me human

so I am just like the rest of you.... normal, don't have it together, struggling in some aspect HUMAN

and i want to be okay with that

Wow... this post was a little all over, and not at all like I thought it would be...

Thank you God that you love the Human ME, not the spirit of me that will one day be by your side, but right now as you see me you love the Human ME

Some Days it's Hard, and some Days are even Harder

2010-05-16T10:44:00.001-07:00

I don't want to repeat my "poor poor little pregnant me routine" But some days lately are very hard to get out of bed.

Everything hurts

I'm always still very tired

and the kids are not

They are whinning in a manor that makes me wish the day was already over and it was night time again

I head straight to the shower to escape and think of my reasonings for birthing children and why I ever did it in the first place?

Why did I want to put my body through this?

Why did I want to put my emotions though this?

Why can't I just take a peaceful shower without two precious kids crying and banging on the shower door for me to get out because they don't like to be away from me for more then 2.2 seconds

But then there are days - when i truly hear God speaking in his still small voice and telling what my purpose is

why I am here

why I do this

why the physical pain is worth it

it is a small voice and sometimes it's not even a voice... but the smile of my cohen, the giggle of my olivia, the kick of my baby boy, and the loudness of my david getting ready for school all by himself (PrAise God that He is capable of getting himself ready in the morning)

My purpose here is beyond what I can see or imagine, my purpose as their mom is to teach them about the Love of God

the Goodness of God

the Mercy of God

and most days i doubt my ability to do just that, God do I understand your Love, your Goodness, your Mercy?

if I don't then how do I show that to my children?

This is my purpose ... but I also think that it there purpose too... because right now they teach me in so many ways

God teaches me through them and for that I am forever greatful ( and I better learn quickly so God can stop blessing me with children to teach me things~!)

I've posted it before and I'm doing it AGAIN

2010-05-09T19:11:00.000-07:00

To All The Mommies Out There- This One Is For You

A Child's Angel

Once upon a time there was a child ready to be born.
So one day she asked God: They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?
Among the many angels, I chose one for you.
She will be waiting for you and will take care of you.
But tell me, here in Heaven, I don't do anything else but sing and smile, that's enough for me to be happy.
Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you every day.
And you will feel your angel's love and be happy.
And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me, if I don't know the language that men talk?
Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.
And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?
Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.
I've heard that on earth there are bad men. Who will protect me?
Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.
But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.
Your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way for you to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you.
At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from earth could already be heard, and the child in a hurry asked softly: Oh God, if I am about to leave now, please tell me my angel's name.
Your angel's name is of no importance, you will call your angel: Mommy
~Author Unknown~

Seriously what is this baby doing to me

2010-05-04T09:47:00.001-07:00

This is what I had for lunch today- NOT NORMAL for me in the least. Normal is whatever the kids are eating, chicken nuggets, yogurt, bananas,chips,mac & cheese
You get the idea..but today's lunch included spinach, mushrooms, tomatos....What????

Different.. and it was SOOOO good...

Not sure what this baby is doing to me, but I LOVE it

Thanks little one!

I have a new obssession

2010-05-02T18:07:00.000-07:00

PRINTING OUT RECIPES.... seriously I can't stop looking at them, or websites from women that make Fabulous Food for their families!!

It is part of my job as CEO of this household to make sure my family gets feed, and that it is healthy and beneficial!! But considering that I have some family memebers that are umm.... picky to say the least, it's been a strugle for 7.5 long years

So recently I have been obsessing over new recipes that will blow them away, that they will be begging for, that will make them healthy and strong and they will eat and beg for me (still wondering if that exsist) But I believe it just might.

So until I find it, I am on the hunt and having a blast looking at every other cooks recipes.

I have been asked to put a hault on the printing of recipes by my husband..due to the fact that I am printing out so many recipes, our paper is low, computer ink is running dry, and my husband can't print out is work stuff because the computer and printer are jammed by my recipes

So I will just look for fun (because honestlly I just can't stop), and maybe store a huge list in my bookmarks, and one day be able to print again

How did it go by so fast??

2010-04-27T19:17:00.000-07:00

So tonight my baby girl is sleeping in her new room tonight... UPSTAIRS while I am downstairs in my room next to an empty nursery... how did she go from this

to this

SOOOOO FAST

I have been soooo thrilled to get her big girl room ready for her.... and it's still in the works ( once auntie allie helps give her final touch to the room I will post pictures!)

But once she was up there and I walked down to her now empty room, with blue sailboats and blue baby toys ( yes I know I still have awhile before this boy comes to join our family but I am sooo not a procrastinater) I was soooo sad... how did it happen so fast? How do I go back and remember all the moments I never want to forget? I hope and pray that they stay with me forever but I know little by little they will fade, and new ones will be replaced.

Which is good

But there is still a part of me that is very sad tonight and will probably be for awhile- my sweeet baby girl is not so baby anymore- she stills lets me snuggle her, and kisses her face until she can't breathe, she still needs me toget her out of her crib, and change her diaper, she is still my baby girl even if her old room is empty and I can't hear her chattering in the room beside mine

change takes some getting used to

but i should be used to that

right....??

My Interview

2010-04-25T16:00:00.000-07:00

So I was interviewed by a blog site thingy.. guess I'm still not really sure what it is all about - but hey if you like my blog and feel like voting- you can do so right

HERE

And in case I end up winning anything--- a BIG THANK YOU in advance!!!!

So it's time to journal (beware of the rambling that is about to occur)

2010-04-23T11:21:00.000-07:00

I started this blog to be my "diary" and it is ... sort of.... But I always tend to steer clear sometimes of how i'm feeling, what i'm thinking, and put up cute photos of my children, or funny stories, because those are always more exciting and positive to read......
But sometimes it's nice to learn that other people may feel like you do and you (meaning I) are not a crazy nut (even though i'm pretty sure 99% of the time i am)

I have been in such a funk lately, i don't feel depressed but i just don't feel right. it is discouraging. i felt like this for so long when i was really sick in the beginning of my pregnancy but then it got better, and now the funk is back..... there are things going on with this pregnancy that I would never discuss on a blog due to the fact that I don't want to be the reason you get sick and puke all over your keyboard.... (your welcome!) and i guess i am learning quickly that my mood and attitude is controlled by how i feel and i don't want to be this person at all.... I want to be the person that "considers it joy my brothers...." and at this point there is very little joy--- there is however a great amount of LACK OF MOTIVATION and desire to just be..... which i feel like makes no sense... i feel like i have ZERO motivation, yet i also feel that i have such an overwhelming feeling in my life right now, and this overwhelming feeling is paralyzing...does that make sense??
I wake up wishing it was bedtime.. not the best way to start your day... i get so tired of disciplining cohen... and boy oh boy are we in a total disciplining stage... that even when i know i need to be strong and hold to my parenting style, i am so exhausted and take the easy way out... which obviously then i feel guilty for, because really it gets us nowhere and then i have to start over from square one with him and it is even more exhausting the second time around....

i have a huge sense of not being content (in case that needed to be said any clearer)

I do love my life, my God, my children, my husband, my family and friends... and truly thank God for the amazing life he has given to me.... so why can't i actually enjoy it a little more?

so there is my random entry on my feelings... i think this post was so random that now i am even more confused about my feelings and my emotions then before i started writing.
so sorry for the waste of 5 minutes of your life... i will try and repay you back with a really great blog entry next time :)

Ahhh It's Monday

2010-04-12T18:55:00.000-07:00

It's what I'm getting ready to watch.. what about you?

I knew it all along

2010-04-02T10:29:00.000-07:00

And One Beautiful Princess!!!

tomorrow is the dAy

2010-04-01T19:01:00.000-07:00

OR

Hmmm..... we shall soon know!!!

So Love It

2010-03-29T08:49:00.000-07:00

so seriously I had a brief moment where I was soo inspired to make this for my house, I clicked on the link that gives you the pattern to sew (the key word is SEW) these super cute birdies, and for a second I almost printed it out...

and then I sadly realized who am I kidding... I am sooo not crafty.... so here is my post of something so cute that I will probably never own.... unless of course (heaven forbid) I go on bedrest and have a whole lot of time to spare.... you will never see this in my house

sniff sniff

This is the movie Steve and I are watching right now

2010-03-27T19:48:00.000-07:00

I'm still trying to figure out why......??

The Difference

2010-03-26T11:14:00.000-07:00

there are many differences between all three of my children........ some are just more obvious then others

Olivia LOVING the St. Patty's Day Parade, laughing, dancing, enjoying the day

Same parade...... Different Child

with his back towards parade, sitting as still as possible, as to not create attention from the clowns and people in the parade

Night and Day

It's was a Glorious Day

2010-03-10T18:17:00.000-08:00

So this isn't exactly what it looked like outside my backyard today.. but it might as well have been!!! Today was a good day :) And this view is what I saw in my mind.... except my view also had beautiful children squealing with joy over all the "new toys" that have been kept inside the garage for all these long,cold months. Today we were able to break free and it was AMAZING.. we ran without shoes, we kicked footballs, soccer balls, swang, slid, golfed, played tennis, drove a remote controlled car, rode bikes, went on a walked, ended up at miles house, jumped in a ball pit, played baseball, ate popsicles, went pee like a big boy outside on a bush (that was a huge deal by the way)

And all this was only about 3 hours worth of our Fabulous day....

We did have a small break in between, where we ad to take O to the doctor for her 15 month check up, which couldn't have come at a better time, because when she woke from her nap (15 minutes before leaving to go to her appointment) her bed was covered in spots of blood... come to find out she has an ear infection and it is starting to push her tube out in one ear and causing her to bleed..... plus the precious lady is shoving out THREE MOLARS at one time... and one of these molars has a cyst on it and is probably going to rupture sometime and cause her a lot of pain... oh my precious baby O -- how I wish I could take your pain away from you :( But none the less.... she rocked out all afternoon and into the evening chasing her brothers around the driveway while screaming with delight as they drove the remote controlled corvette around her little tiny legs.

on a side note, this precious lady of mine is only 19 pounds at her 15 month check up.. that is in the 9%.... and her head size is only in the 10%... my peanut is seriously A PEANUT.... But all 19 pounds of her is squeezable, lovable, kissable, adorable, indescribable yumminess :)

you will never know

2010-03-09T10:00:00.000-08:00

i just had this super cool post... and then when i went to publish it ... there was an error and now my post is gone...

your loss

you will never know what I am doing today and WHY!?!?!?

Happy Anniversary

2010-03-03T12:00:00.000-08:00

to two of my most favorite people.... Adam you were and still are an amazing brother. i am so proud of the man/husband/father that you are, you make me very proud

and to miss Allie, i never knew i would love having a sister as much as i love having you in my life. It truly has been a blessing to watch you as a mother to josiah and a wife to Adam. you inspire me!

you two are part of my heart and i will always love you

happy anniversary....... may this year be the best yet!!

The End Result

2010-02-23T07:57:00.000-08:00

IT'S DONE!!!!
The wait, the stress, the anxiety is all over and my boy came out a champ in the end!! The first day was BY FAR the very very worst. My sweet angelic boy peed NINE TIMES IN TWO HOURS....yes you read that correctly, I never knew that I child could have so much pee in them.

It was ridiculous!

The morning went like this....

Cohen fights me to even put on his super cool big boy underwear (I swear we now have even kind imaginable, buzz lightyear, cars, incredables, Wall-E, diego, seasame street.. you name it I bought it)

Underwear finally on.. Check!

We try to stay in the kitchen (tile floor) as much as possible so lots of games, and puzzles happened that day, and even tried to go hangout on the potty for fun so that maye it can just happen naturally.... NO SUCH LUCK... Cohen is freaking out and fighting me trying to get off of the potty while Beautiful Baby O is trying with all of her might to get ON the potty- so with my hands I try to force cohen to just sit on the potty chair, while one leg is holding Olivia back so she doesn't end up inside the toilet (End Result... Baby O ends up playing in the tub while I try to be the expert potty training mommy)

But then mommy must attened to Baby O and off cohen goes to go potty in his big boy underwear while hidding somewhere that of course always had carpet NOT tile ;(

I make Cohen clean up his own mess... (which for him is actually more of a reward and pleasure then a punishment-- I know this boy is crazy)

I take him to the bathroom, talk to him about where he is suppossed to go and then put him in the tub to wash him off with cold water (again he tends to think this is funny most of the time.. not exactly the result I was going for)

Start all over..... this process happened 9 times in two hours...

Oh and let me please post that I think I called my mom in frustration 27x during those two hours

but then magically one time I sat him on the potty after washing him off and he went and then everthing CLICKED in one big Hallelujah Chorus!!!!! I can't say what changed from Pee #9 to Pee #10 but whatever happened WORKED and seriously since then the boy has had a very small handfull of accidents since that 10th time and he has been a MAJOR ROCKSTAR-- I am so proud of my baby boy, I mean BIG BOY!

I'm guessing by Olivia's quick admiration for the potty she will be a much younger age for potty training..... but then again we will see how much my life changes with baby # FOUR's arrival

LIFE is GOOD

I have photos that I took, but I am to lazy to search around the house for the cord to download the photos----- but you can imagine... 9 pairs of underwear in the bathtub, a basket full of suckers, stickers, books,a pinwheel, mommies cup full of ice water (for my sanity, don't ask why)a plastic broken slinky, candy, a towel, baby wipes......and it's not a very large bathroom let's please keep in mind!!!

POTTY TRAINING.......

2010-02-16T09:55:00.001-08:00

ENOUGH SAID

no more sorries

2010-02-02T09:41:00.000-08:00

so i have been feeling sorry for myself, which seems to me to be so ironic because the sickness is due to a blessing. Yet I still wake up everyday and feel sorry for myself. I'm sad I can't eat and drink a normal meal without seeing it 15 minutes later. I'm sad that I find it hard to do anything besides laydown and watch my kids play instead of playing with them. I'm sad that my precious mother comes over all the time just to give me a break from doing the simple everyday things that I used to do with ease.I'm sad that I wake up wishing that it was 9:00 pm so that i could be heading back to bed instead of getting up.... I know, know it's such a sad life, poor little ole me..

And then the other day God woke me right up with Nie Nie's post......... I now I wake up with praise in my heart for my beautiful grape size blessing that will soon bless this world.

So the next time you are feeling sorry for yourself like me read this

I am back.
Partly alive, but back.
Mr. Nielson did such a good job taking over my blog.

So...pretty much I just kick it in bed all day, and it's hard.
My once active life has been transformed into slow days in which I just take it minute by minute.
My children fly around me doing this and that, and all I can do is muster up enough energy to remember this is just temporary.
Claire and Jane are out the door each morning to school.
Ollie and Nicholas play around the house with GrandMary's toys.
The set-up here really is delightful, and I am in such good hands.
I just miss home.
I miss me.

I live in the place where it all began.
A boy.
A marriage.
Children.
A move.
A plane crash.
And now I am here again for surgery and a hunchback (which will magically turn into a neck)
I take so much medications and have heartburn from the antibiotic's.
My showers are comparable to someone scrubbing me raw until it bleeds.
Stephanie + shower= my wish that I had passed on to the other side.

And yet, I move forward forgetting the past and preparing for the future. Whatever that is.
I just ordered like a thousand dollars worth of hoodies because that is all that works over this big back of mine.

Sleeping is the worst, with 2 huge lumps on my back, I sleep on my side with pillows propped up against my back, and I wake up in pain, crying out for the life I once led.

My donor site is so tender and I itch like I have poison ivy all over my pale skin.
I hate to complain, but this is harder than I thought.

Next week Mom and Lucy are coming, I will look forward to that.

I heard it snowed in Utah, and to think that just today I hobbled outside and picked me a fresh orange off the trees.
Even in the midst of pain and suffering, the Lord always reminds me that life is a gift-no matter the condition.

Things I am grateful for today:
On-line shopping
Comfortable bed
Darling children
Tums
Baby wipes (don't ask why)
Pain medications
Dr. L.
Mr. Nielson

I need your prayers (again, and again) Thanks
-Nie

Just incase you are interested.......

2010-01-23T09:06:00.000-08:00

I have A LOT of blogs that I read, for many different reasons! Some are to make me laugh out loud, some are to keep me close with those that I don't get to see as often as I like, some are because I am noisy :) And some for total inspiration and to challenge myself

So incase you are in need of some AMAZING blogs to get addicted to here they are :)

and for these three blogs I recommend starting from the beginning (because I know as we all have so much free time) but truly some of these stories are amazing as is, but you will love them 10x more from the beginning

So I hope you enjoy

http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/

this blog is about a fabulous women you was in a plane crash with her husband and is now burned on over 85% of her body - as i speak she is currently recovering from even more surgeries and so for awhile her husband has taken over the blogging, but I can tell you that you will NOT be dissapointed when reading her amazing story

http://www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com/

Another AMAZING women, who learned at 20 weeks pregnant that her daughter would not make it. It is one of the best things I have ever read, and you do truly need to read this one from the beginning- I will warn you if you are pregnant you might want to hold off on this tear-jerker of a blog, but it is SOOO INSPIRATIONAL and again you will not be dissapointed

And Finally

a blog that always brings the biggest smile to my faces and warms my heart all over- my beautiful cousins wife Kaite

http://www.heartgonewalking.com/

she is an amazing mommy that will brighten even the darkest days--- She is Priceless in so many ways and I love her :)

So ENjoy-- I know I have

now back to non-blog reality

:)

All I need now are beautiful nails

2010-01-12T07:40:00.000-08:00

I knew my husband was special, but he totally blew me away last night when he walked in with the biggest surprise for me......... THE RING!!!!! I wanted this ring so badly and posted a photo complete with the link for him to easily purchase for me! But then I realized "he doesn't read my blog" (or so I thought) so I simiply told him one day over the phone he should check out my blog, and then I doubted him (big mistake) I figured since he was in the car driving that my reference to the blog went in one ear and out the other, so I knew I would have to say something again if I wanted that ring. So one night as I was online I said" hey look at my blog" I showed him the ring, and tried to convey my LOVE for this beautiful ring. Calmly he said "click on the link" so I did and then my heart began to sink
SOLD OUT
it was gone, my beautiful pink ring (that was going to take away all my pregnancy sickness) WAS SOLD OUT.........

BUT MUCH TO MY SURPRISE HE WAS THE REASON IT WAS SOLD OUT...... HE DID LOOK AT MY BLOG, HE DID KNOW IT WOULD TOTALLY SURPRISE ME AND MAKE ME SO HAPPY, AND HE WON BIG TIME..... I CRIED AND HUGGED HIM AND HUGGED HIM SOME MORE!!!

Even though our lives are busy and times are sometime tough, and we might not seem like the blissfully romantical couple that we were 8 years ago,

HE STILL IS and He LOVES ME SO, and He has his own special way of letting me know :)

I LOVE YOU STEVE

also my pregnancy sickness is almost nill......... ALMOST......
and yes, all i need now are some beautiful nails to show of this lovely pink lady!!!

Please Do Yourself a Big Favor and WATCH

2010-01-07T17:54:00.000-08:00

Modern Family on Wed nights ABC at 9:00

Steve, you are to late with the pink one, but........

2010-01-02T09:08:00.000-08:00

this blue one is still available FOR A SHORT TIME I'M SURE!!!! $7 is a great deal :)

STEVE....

2009-12-30T18:17:00.000-08:00

I know it's your birthday that is coming up soon, but

PLEASE OH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BUY ME THIS.......

IT WILL MAKE MY WHOLE PREGNANCY SICKNESS SOOO MUCH BETTER, I PROMISE :)

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=37579938&ref=sr_gallery_10&&ga_search_query=&ga_search_type=&ga_page=&includes[]=tags&includes[]=title

It's Over

2009-12-25T18:18:00.003-08:00

It's 9:22 and it's over. The little two munckins have been in bed since 8, and I am ready to climb in myself. It was a great day, of great fun, and priceless memories that I will treasure in my mind forever, and will upload photos once I don't feel like falling asleep.

May the Grace and Love of our Beautiful Father Bless You Beyong Imagination This New Year

p.s. On sunday I will be 6 weeks along in the pregnancy and I'm pretty sure I will be wearing maternity close before the new year....... that is a little depressing to me, I know it shouldn't be because that simple fact means i'm blessed to be carrying a baby, BUT STILL, at SIX WEEKS REALLY??????????????????

p.p.s. Oliva is now awake and crying, so no bed for me yet :(

It'

2009-12-25T18:18:00.001-08:00

I think I have forgotten how to have fun :(

2009-12-22T09:23:00.000-08:00

I know this may sound sily, as it does to me while I write these words, but sometimes I think I have forgotten how to have fun. Of course "Fun" to me is a whole different term then what it used to be, and that in and of itself is not a bad thing. But when I look back on my life with my girlfriends we used to have so much fun together, laughing doing silly things, just being girls.....

Please don't get me wrong, I LOVE MY GIRLFRIENDS sooo much. God have truly blessed me with an amazing group of women who love me and love God, and for that I am forever grateful.

But there is so much "serious" talk that comes with being a grown up/mommy, how to do this, my kid does this, how do you discipline in this situation, how to do this etter, what we need to work on ... etc.... these are important conversations to have, and I do believe that these are the converstation that God loves to hear us have. Because we are growing and learning and loving life together. But still I miss the fun.

I have so much fun with my kids, but again this is a different kind of fun, laughter with them is amazing, they tickle my soul in places that no adult can reach, and make me realize everyday that there is so much more to life, yet it is still the "fun" of a child, so maybe that is why when I get around adults I head straight for the "grown up conversations" instead of "grown up fun" (does any of this make sense..... it does in my head but as I type I think it might be coming out all funny)

Allie and I threw a WONDERFUL Party this past friday (if I do say so myself) and it was sooo much fun! I enjoyed every little moment of it, and it made me realize that I don't have fun like this so much anymore--- "grown up" fun to me now consists of going to bed before 10:30 :(
I need fun like this..... we all need fun like this.... before we lose it and become just another adult ;)

I want to make clear that I DO love my time with my girlfriends more then anything,and I know that life isn't all about having fun (believe me I preach it to david all the time) BUT don't you think we need some more fun girl time instead of just fun mommy time??? I do because I don't want to grow up to fast, I want to enjoy being a girlfriend and a fun 30 year old girl, and not just enjoy a mommy for a moment

Best Birthday Princess Ever!!

2009-12-21T18:53:00.000-08:00

So my Baby O had a PERFECT 1st Birthday Party
and a lot of it is thanks to the most perfect Auntie Allie in the world.

We Love You So Much!!!

I have a lot of updating to do

2009-12-19T19:52:00.001-08:00

but I am sick right now, and watching The Family Man and LOVING IT, just like I do every Christmas Season.......

Truly one of my favorite movies of all time

Olivia Faith Clark- Happy One

2009-12-10T17:08:00.000-08:00

It all started in South Carolina, well I guess not exactly in S.C. ;)
but from the moment I thought that there was "something" going, I remember it Perfectly.
I was in Savannah for a work conference, and I knew that "it" was supposed to be happening soon, but when it didn't, I didn't worry, until I woke up early one morning feeling a little sick, and I just KNEW it was more then that.... I immediately called Steve to tell him my theory... to which he said.... "you don't call me early in the morning and tell me THAT" I laughed and thought of him laying in bed, his mind racing in all directions... within 5 minutes of my first call he called me back with much more panic in his voice then before..."was I sure?" of course I wasn't sure, I was at a hotel for a work conference, do you think I'm going to ask my boss to run me to the closest drugstore so I can pick up a pregnancy test??? So Steve continued to call me every so often throughout the day to check on my status and see if I had started.... after about this 8th time calling, I think that is when the reality set in....... Another One???? This was the same week that Cohen broke his leg while sliding down our slide with David.... so needless to say the Chaos that was happening at home, was not being lightened by my suspision of another baby arriving in 9 months... Needless to say I was right and the thrill began to find both of us, especially when we found out it was a girl.....A Daughter!

Fast Forward to what seems like a blink of the eye, and Now our Baby is ONE.... My heart beats a little quicker when I say that.... She is the most Amazing Joy to My Heart.

I want you to understand my heart, I want you to understand the way she makes me feel, I want you to understand the way she makes me want to be better for Her, but simple words are not enough... I have a million dreams in store for her, and "wisdom" that I hope to one day say to her. I wish everyone could see her smile, and hear her laugh... I pray I never ever forget the sound of that laugh......

My prayer for her is that she may know that she is BEAUTIFUL in God's eyes, and that she takes that beauty inside of her and blesses everyone around her. That she is strong in wisdom and meekness, and that she never lives a day without laughter.

She has made my life that much more complete and from that moment I knew of her I have been madly in love with her

Miss Olivia Faith - you hold my heart in your tiny little hands

Heaven's Song

2009-12-01T19:09:00.000-08:00

So I would love to post all the lyrics from Phil Whickham's new cd Heaven & Earth, because each one is so wonderful.... But for tonight I will just post this one... Enjoy

You wrote a letter and You signed your name
I read every word of it page by page
You said that You'd be coming, coming for me soon
Oh my God I'll be ready for You

I want to run on greener pastures
I want to dance on higher hills
I want to drink from sweeter waters
In the misty morning chill
And my soul is getting restless
For the place where I belong
I can't wait to join the angels and sing my heaven song

I hear Your voice and I catch my breath
'Well done my child, enter in and rest'
Tears of joy roll down my cheek
It's beautiful beyond my wildest dreams

I want to run on greener pastures
I want to dance on higher hills
I want to drink from sweeter waters
In the misty morning chill
And my soul is getting restless
For the place where I belong
I can't wait to join the angels and sing...

I want to run on greener pastures
I want to dance on higher hills
I want to drink from sweeter waters
In the misty morning chill
And my soul is getting restless
For the place where I belong
I can't wait to join the angels and sing
No, I cant wait to join the angels and sing my heaven song

Mr. Stroup

2009-11-17T09:15:00.000-08:00

Awesome interview of my 8th grade Bible Teacher...... Simply Wonderful and so blessed to get my personal birthday letters each year!!!

Click below to read the story and watch the video-- He is truly a gift from God!!!

http://www.wthr.com/global/Story.asp?s=11443986

A MUST WATCH VIDEO!!!!!

Choices

2009-11-09T18:59:00.000-08:00

I have choices, every second of the day, to serve my Lord.

To honor Him with my speech and with my thoughts, with the way I love those around me and the way I worship Him.

Every moment, there is another opportunity, and I want to use as many of them as He will allow.

In fact, Scripture tells me that one day I will stand before Him, and I will hand the King of all Kings a tattered scrapbook of my days.

It is up to me to decide what the pages will reveal.

Cohen is Three!!!

2009-10-28T17:57:00.001-07:00

So my Baby Boy turned three and of course I wanted to write him a beautiful letter just like all the other blogger mommies write to their children. I read their letters to their children, and I totally get it. I know exactly where they are coming from, they are reading my mind, and hearing my heart!!! So now it is my turn, it is my boys birthday, and it is time to share my heart........ but I'm blank, my mind empties with words and fills up with photos stored in my memory. I feel like a bad mom because I can't write into words how my heart and life has changed since the birth of my son, which is silly I know, but I still feel it. But I now realize that it doesn't matter that I can't put into words how my life has changed, how my heart has grown, and how I as a person will never be the same since that life changing day!!!

And though I might not be able to post a blog.... so that maybe one day down the road my son will read and know......I know..... and once he becomes a parent... He will know.... and truly that is all that matters.....

So here is my heart, wrapped up with blonde hair, hazel eyes, with a smile and personality that make everything worth it :)

I love you my baby boy...... Happy Three!!!

Happy Birthday to ME!!!

2009-10-18T20:11:00.000-07:00

My Super Uber Wonderful Husband Surprised me with a Not Even Yet Released Brand New PHIL WICKHAM cd--- and if you don't know yet... I love me some Phil Worship music... and for all of you out their that loves them some Phil too..... I will tell you it's AMAZING.. but what else would you expect from Phil.... And Steve as well :)

Top Three Reasons I Love Fall

2009-10-11T19:36:00.000-07:00

Hooded Sweatshirts

Super Cute Jeans with Warm Pink Merrells

But Most of All

BABIES IN HATS

........ Even if the babies can't stand them, they are my fav!

It's a Dangerous Addiction!!

2009-10-04T10:36:00.000-07:00

I try to be a "healthy mom" I am by no means obssesed like some moms (and for those moms out there who are.... More Power To YOU!!) And by healthy I mean I put ..... Baby Food Carrots in Cohen's Spagettios...... I put some white powdery stuff in his Milk which is going to help build up his immune system...... I mix water in his apple juice so there is not as much sugar...... I put flax seed in his pancakes..... and try to give hims grapes and strawberries as much as possible....... Not exactly going to win Healthiest Mother Of The Year....... But sadly I learned after a very long, and LOUD screaming session in the car on the wa y to church this morning, that we go to DUNKIN DONUTS WAY TOO MUCH...... I LOVE their coffee.... it's soooo GOOD, and I'm sorry but it is way better then Starbucks.... (don't hate) and it is WAY CHEAPER!!!

This 100% innocent addiction started because they had a special on their large coffee for .99 cents, and since I couldn't pass up that deal.... I started going.... and my first time there I thought I would treat Cohen to a donut.... He picked a "pink donut" otherwise known as Strawberry Frosted. It was a great day, I learned about the DD coffee and Cohen learned what a Pink Donut was........ that was when the addiction started to creep in....

( It also doesn't help that DD is right by Once Upon a Child, and everytime we go..... Guess who Rememers this new love..the boy NEVER forgets anything)

But now it has become a 2-3x a week outing :)

When I was little my parents would take Adam and I to Rosslyn Bakery before church on Sundays... It was such a fun tradition! And we would look forward to it each and every week. So I thought I would pass the tradition along....... plus I could get coffee for myself.... so I started this tradition, which sadly has turned into a umm.... every other day obssession, and not so much a Sunday Special Treat!!! But this sunday was a little different. We were running late, and not our normal "late" we were really late. So we had to skip DD and head straight to church, and that's when it happened. The Meltdown quickly occured once my precious angel of a boy realized that we had driven past DD and he was minus a Pink Donut--- That's when the wailing, snot flying, tears streaming, legs kicking tantrum begun.... needless to say it was a Long and Loud drive to church..... and that's when I realized He Is Addicted

So now I am putting my foot down..... and am going to work on being a HEALTHY MOM-- and limiting myself and my son to Sunday Special Dunkin Donuts.... stay tuned to see what really happens

Maybe, Just Maybe

2009-09-27T19:31:00.000-07:00

I've had this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach for awhile.... that feeling is the feeling that I should start blogging again... I know it sounds silly, but it's seriously been bothering me because I know I stopped for all the wrong reasons.

I stopped blogging because I was comparing my "blogging style" to all the GREATS! (see below for an incredible list)

I always thought that mine wasn't good enough ... and maybe that is true... but it doesn't really matter, these are my thoughts, my moments in life, and why do I care who does or doesn't read it, because I am doing this for me right!

It's my journal, out in the open, and that's all it needs to be..... not a comparison of what kind of mother I am.... or how much I can beautifully describe my love for my husband, or how my tragic story has changed my life... or how I can create 50 meals with 5 ingredients or less and have my family begging for seconds....... Don't get me wrong here ... because these are ALL the things that I LOVE from the GREATS!

Their blogs do inspire me in so many ways and God has blessed these women with these Amazing gifts. But maybe my gift is something different..... Maybe it's to write a pretty plain blog, that God can use somehow, someway speak to someone....... Or....Maybe it will only be me that it speaks to.... and I think that is pretty okay.

Without this blog world, I would have never been so engrossed into the lives of the GREATS! Like.....KATIE MAYES, Audrey Caroline, MckMama, Nie Nie......just to name a few of my FAVORITES!!! (So please please do yourself a favor and get involved with these Awesome Women!)

They will never know that they have spoken VOLUMES to my life... and maybe, just maybe I can do the same to someone.....

I have like 40 bazillion diaries/journals that I started throughout my life and NEVER finished... I would always find a new pretty journal and think.... Ohhh this one is sooo pretty I will want to write in it Forever... and then months later I would look back at the 5 entries.

Soooo maybe I should keep this one going and NOT give up, NOT compare..... and although I will probably never be one of the GREATS, maybe to one person I will be

On a side note... I have the worlds most precious baby girl, who LOVES to take a bath, and I just had to share... Because it makes me SMILE ... how bout you??

Just Had To Post It!!!

2009-07-28T18:31:00.000-07:00

Three in the morning
And I'm still awake
So I picked up a pen and a page
And I started writing
Just what I'd say if we were face to face,
I'd tell you just what you mean to me, I'd tell you these simple truths,
Be strong in the Lord and
Never give up hope
You're going to do great things, I already know
Gods got his hand on you so don't live life in fear
Forgive and forget
But don't forget why your here
Take your time and pray
These are the words I would say
Last time we spoke
You said you were hurting
And I felt your pain in my heart
I want to tell you that I keep on praying
Love will find you where you are, I know cause I've already been there
So please hear these simple truths
From one simple life to another
I will say, come find peace in the father
Be strong in the lord and
Never give up hope
You're going to do great things, I already know
Gods got his hand on you so
Don't live life in fear
Forgive and forget, but don't forget why your here
Take your time and pray
Thank God for each day
His love will find a way
These are the words I would say

--The Words I Would Say-- Sidewalk Prophets

Attn:

2009-07-07T12:36:00.001-07:00

PLEASE PLEASE DONT FORGET TO VISIT ME AT

www.realestateforindianapolis.blogspot.com

Thank You!

A Sad Sad Thought

2009-06-29T06:08:00.001-07:00

Sooo this might be one of the last posts that I do.... I have been such a slacker in the blogger world :( I am barely online anymore and when I am I am working on real estate and that blog.
Or I am on facebook ( I know sad but true) I have Loved doing my blog, and looking back through all my posts is so much fun to see how things have changed for our not so little family. It's not official yet, but a change may be coming....... but until then check out what I have been doing HERE

A New Addition To The Family

2009-05-09T18:36:00.000-07:00

So most of you at least know of the "small love" of Basketball that Cohen has but what you might not know is the umm.... large access we have to "Hoop Ball" as Cohen affectionately named it. So I thought I would post some pictures just to give you an idea!!

this is the hoop that started the whole thing.... Thanks Mom:)

this one above it the latest addition-- isn't she a beauty-- David thought we "needed" it because we didn't have a double hoop..... so of course this was perfect... does anyone think we have a few to many hoops?!?

The sad thing is this is just our hoops, I didn't feel like spending an hour taking pictures of our Soccer goal, baseball bats, ping pong table, kiddie pool table, our golf ball set(s), bowling, hockey, Basically this poor angel doesn't stand a chance!!

YES!!!

2009-04-28T18:50:00.000-07:00

We are still alive and kicking.... just a little slow with the blogging world :) But I promise to try and do better--

Enjoy this beautiful photo of my precious Nephew!!

Resurrection Sunday with a little egg finding as well :)

2009-04-13T18:02:00.000-07:00

Our Resurrection Sunday was WONDERFUL!!! We had our family over this time, and it was so nice to start our own family traditions!!

I am to tired to type a lot right now..... so here are some photos instead-

My New Book

2009-04-01T18:29:00.000-07:00

Soo I have been wanting to purchase this book for awhile, and have kept putting it off. So finally last week I decided to go ahead and suck it up and pay the $6 on Amazon and buy "Parenting the way God Parents" and I just got it in the mail and I am soooo excited and already learning soo much so I had to share some quotes that I just loved and for any parent that is wanting a good parenting book to read I am totally recommending it -- and I am only on page 46

So Here Ya Go

Family discussions about such topics as devotion, charity, heritage, and excellence must find their way back into our living rooms. As Kingdom parents, we have to go deeper places of discussion with our children than simply their outward behavior. Jesus warns against working to make people took good on the outside while neglecting the more important heart issues like patience and faith in the face of uncertainty

Of course, no one wants to pass generational sin on to his children. But simply not wanting to is not enough. We have to take a more active role. Just as God our Father is a shield and protector to us (Psalm28:7) we must shield out children, praying against specific generational sin and looking honestly at ourselves for signs of influence.

He want us to leave the things that are familiar - the way things have always been- and to go out in faith, building a family of His design. It's easy to build a family of our own design, but God invites us to throw off what we think we know and open ourselves up to HIS vision for our families. Just as God challenged Abram to trust in His plan, He calls us to trust Him wholeheartedly with our families.

Our best hopes and dream for our children pale in comparison to those God has for them.

She now wears a size 2

2009-03-22T17:25:00.000-07:00

I am so sad :( She is getting to be a big girl

Who knew my house was cleaned by a leprechaun?

2009-03-17T18:45:00.000-07:00

So I am learning that I am not as good with Holidays as I thought I was. My neighbor blows me away with the creativeness with EVERY Holiday. Today was not a disappointment!!

So her 2 little boys and 1 little neighbor girl, came off the bus to green water in all the toilets, a compass in the mailbox to help them with their treasure hunt, green bags to put their goodies, and then a serious treasure hunt inside and outside. Oh... and their was green silly string all over their deck..... The leprechauns had taken pillows and stacked them up on the couch, put bottles of water and coke cans all of the kitchen in a crazy manner, and put things in odd places. The kids LOVED it and knew that the leprechaun must have hit our house as well (Ummm.... oh no, hear comes the thing that I may not be as "with it" when it comes to Holidays)

So we went on a walk back to my house to see what the leprechaun had done at my house, and I was nervous that they were going to be sadly disappointed, and tried to create my story as to why nothing at my house was out of the ordinary

The little kids walked in to my not so messy, not so clean house, and they KNEW that he had been their as well because so many things were "out of place"

They kept looking around my house and gasping when they would find things that HAD to have been done by this leprechaun...... My Bananas were out of place on the table? My 2 pillows were on one side of the couch instead one on each side! A light was left on in the bathroom, there was a guitar in cohen's room .... a definite sign of a leprechaun they LOVE guitars!!

But the funniest thing was when the kids went upstairs to make sure we didn't miss anything that this "little leprechaun" might have done in our house, so I decided to make Olivia a quick bottle before we left.

I put her in her swing and started making the bottle when the kids came down and totally started freaking out and in loud shreakish voices they pointed to Olivia and said "OHHHH MYYY GOOOSHHHH.... HOW DID SHE GET IN THE SWING.... SHE WASN'T THEIR WHEN WE WENT UPSTAIRS....... OHHH MYYY GOSHHHH THE LEPRECHAUN DID IT"

:) I want to be a kid again!!

Can it be true??

2009-03-10T18:24:00.000-07:00

Is she really 3 months old today? These past three month have FLOWN BY.
I love that she is getting a personality, she smiles when she sees me and her daddy, she coos at her brothers and has just brought so much love to our family!! Happy 3 Month Birthday Baby Girl

WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!

and p.s. how cute are these new shoes of hers!!

A Child's Angel

2009-03-09T18:20:00.000-07:00

I LOVE being a mommy!! It is truly a gift that I am everyday blown away with. I learn so much about myself, and I Always seem to get glimpses of God's love for me through my children.
But...... it can be difficult and I struggle sometimes with being a mommy and my responsibilities vs. Steve and his fatherly responsibilities. And MAN OH MAN.... it is so hard not to be jealous and compare. Steve passed me his cold this week ( right after I was getting over the stomach flu from last week... it seems to never end in our house) When he was sick he was able to lay in bed and sleep for as long as he wanted, well now that I am sick guess what.... I am still doing all of my duties and it is hard not to hold that against him. I really try not to I promise, but the desire of my heart and the thoughts in my head are controlled by two different people :)
So that was my heart this week.... not where God would have it to be, and thankfully HE is still working on me and hasn't given up yet!!
But even with all these "Not Fair" emotions building up inside of me I am reminded of a poem that my grandma bryan sent me on mother's day. It is one of my favorites and I have it in my closet where I look at t all the time. So I thought I would share :)

Enjoy

A Child's Angel

Once upon a time there was a child ready to be born.
So one day she asked God: They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?
Among the many angels, I chose one for you.
She will be waiting for you and will take care of you.
But tell me, here in Heaven, I don't do anything else but sing and smile, that's enough for me to be happy.
Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you every day.
And you will feel your angel's love and be happy.
And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me, if I don't know the language that men talk?
Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.
And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?
Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.
I've heard that on earth there are bad men. Who will protect me?
Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.
But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.
Your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way for you to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you.
At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from earth could already be heard, and the child in a hurry asked softly: Oh God, if I am about to leave now, please tell me my angel's name.
Your angel's name is of no importance, you will call your angel: Mommy
~Author Unknown~

To all of the Mommies out there that sometimes feel like I did.... your right it's Not Fair....
WE HAVE IT SOOO MUCH BETTER DON'T WE :)

Happy 2nd Anniversary!!

2009-03-03T18:27:00.000-08:00

I want to give a HUGE Happy Anniversary to my beautiful brother and sister-in-law!! I can't believe it has been two years. The time has flown by, and yet I feel like we were just in AZ :)
It has been so fun watching them grow in their marriage and enjoy the beauty of marriage that God gives to us!!
I also want to say that I am more than THRILLED that they will be making me an Aunt very very soon :) To say I am excited to meet this little guy is an understatement!! I can't wait to do fun things with my nephew like, take him out for ice cream, buy him Christmas and Birthday presents, push him on the swing in the park, make him laugh, and watch good ole kiddie movies with him while eating popcorn while his mom and dad are on a date night :)

You two are such beautiful people inside and out and I know that you will be AMAZING parents to this precious gift from God, and I am thrilled beyond belief to be apart of this stage in your life

Ad by the way this little princess is so excited to see her cousin and show him what life is like on the "outside"

XOXOXOX

2009-02-28T19:22:00.000-08:00

Okay... so I feel like I should post something, I mean I don't really feel like I have posted in awhile and I am soo sure I am letting so many people down(?) Anyways you would think I would have something excited to talk about tonight-- But I don't I am sleepy and it is only 10:30... ahhh gone are the days when I would be going out at 10:30. and now All I Can Think About is going to bed.... And I couldn't be happier :)
And by the way if you were here right now with me in my house, you would get to see the most precious little ones asleep in their beds... why is it that little ones have such amazing peace when they sleep? I don't think I have this look to me when I sleep... and I KNOW Steve does not, but I think that has more to do with the distraction of the SNORING then anything else.
But ohh... if you were here you would be able to sneak a peek and enjoy smelling Olivia's sweet baby smell, and Cohen's little boy sweat (it is precious I promise) and David, Oh shoot I forgot I am supposed to run up and tell him good night, and I am down here blogging, well before I go upstairs to tuck him in, I have to tell you it is still so cute that David is 10 and he stills asks me to come up every night to "Huggy Kissey" him.
Awww... Still a little boy on the inside

GoodNight

Dear Angela

2009-02-25T05:29:00.000-08:00

Wanna Come Play!!!

We will make you feel right at home :)

The Update!!

2009-02-23T18:18:00.000-08:00

So since so many people have asked.... I didn't know that my "girls" were so popular :) Anyways I did decide to stop b.feeding earlier last week. And I was "okay" with it or so I thought. But by Friday I just did not have a peace about it and I started to wonder why I didn't have a peace because it felt sooo good to stop and I think I really wanted to. By Friday night I realized that it was God saying to me TRUST ME, He is bigger then any of my "issues" that I have and HE wants to show me his Power even in something so simple as b.feeding.
So after not nursing for 4 days I decided to wake up the next morning and give it a try and just 100% trust in Him and Him alone, not the 4 cups of Mothers Milk Tea that I was drinking each day, or the 19 herbs I was taking a day, but to trust in HIM.

So that is what I am doing, and so far it is working ( not that I should be surprised) but I am trusting and he is doing a miracle :)
I do know that is might not last forever but I know that when it does end, it will be because He is saying enough, and it is not just me deciding to end this.

Prayer would be greatly appreciated if you think of it

So there you go- that is my update for all you curious readers out there!!

Breastfeeding

2009-02-17T18:47:00.000-08:00

Ohhh..... the blog I have been dreading to post. Soooo as of now I have been "breastfeeding" and I use the quotes because it has been such an on and off thing.
It has been a HUGE struggle for me so far... and she is only 9 weeks- I had hopes to make it to 6 months.... We will see if I make it to 10 weeks.
I struggled breasfeeding with Cohen and I told myself while I was pregnant that if it didn't work with Olivia that I would just stop and not stress out about it

HA HA HA... oh how I wish it was that easy and no stress was involved!!
But now things are back to the same ole feelings .
(on a side note I am typing this post while watching American Idol and I am soo distracted by the not so good singers .. I don't even like this show, so why am I watching it?!?!?!)
Anyways back to the breasts, and by the way I can't believe I am actually writting a post about my boobs.. It has just been consuming my thoughts for so long... so why not get it "out there"
into the blog world -- right? (and why does Paula stand while people sing??so annoying!)

So back to my stress with breastfeeding... I decided to stop completely this morning after I pumped last night for almost 20 min and got just a few drops -- it was CRAZY and DEPRESSING. so this morning I said ENOUGH STRESS.... and I quite..... now it is 10:00pm and I just got done pumping .... Ahhhh.. I gave in
I was in so much pain after about 24hours of "quiting" so I just had to give in for some relief.. and I actually got 4 ounces between the two (which is a HUGE amount for me)
Sooo now what?? Do I hold off for 24 hours and pump once a night for one bottle? Or do I just quite or do I keep trying

Ahhhhh..... why why why
Please someone just tell me what to do- Since I am sure you reading this are sooo interested in my breastfeeding plans :)

Oh I Love It!!

2009-02-09T07:37:00.000-08:00

okay all you blogger experts

2009-02-04T19:52:00.000-08:00

I am still not "with it" i guess in this blogger world- but it seems as if everyone is getting super cute blog backgrounds and I am still stuck with the basic kind you get to choose from when you first start your blog?
So please ... HELP .. advice... details on what to do.....

how do I get a super cute blog background??

Announcement!!

2009-02-02T08:41:00.000-08:00

A lot of you will be getting this announcement by e-mail too, but i thought i would go ahead and post it fir all you blogger junkies out there!!
Steve and I have partnered up in real estate together. I got my license about a year ago with hopes to someday be helpful hands for my husband, and while I have been a little busy these days, I feel that God is leading me to help Steve out in any way that I can. I am not sure what God has in store and I am not sure how long God has me involved, but I do know that this is what I can for now!
I will probably be a little more structured about the real estate blog then my personal blog, but who knows really...??

So I would love it if you would check us out at

http://www.realestateforindianapolis.blogspot.com.

And if you would be so inclined to list us on your blog we would be ever so grateful

much love
Christina

Right Now

2009-02-01T19:56:00.000-08:00

I have this moment.
Right Now.
And I want to make it good!

Choices

2009-01-31T18:22:00.000-08:00

I have choices, every second of the day, to serve my Lord. To honor Him with my speech and with my thoughts, with the way I love those around me and the way I worship Him. Every moment, there is another opportunity, and I want to use as many of them as He will allow. In fact, Scripture tells me that one day I will stand before Him, and I will (symbolically) hand the King of all Kings a tattered scrapbook of my days. It is up to me to decide what the pages will reveal.

from Angie Smith "Bring the Rain"

A Couple of Firsts!!

2009-01-31T16:33:00.000-08:00

Cohen is finally warming up to Olivia- Which I love, but I think it is pretty safe to say that little Miss O was not a big fan of her brother--But hey it's a great start :)

Of course it's not Davids first time in the snow but it was the first time this year that he used his snowboardand fell on his butt onto some ice

Cohen, on the other hand did NOT like the snow - i think he thought his legs were gone for good

On friday we went to the Pacer game and it was Cohen & Olivia's first time, and as you can tell from the photos Cohen loved it and would not take his eyes off of the court!!

I thought I would be good at this

2009-01-26T05:46:00.000-08:00

If you know me, and most of you do, you know that I can talk with the best of them. I mean I seriously get annoyed with how much I talk (and I know you do too) that my head continues to tell my mouth to "Stop Talking, Just Stop, Stop for just a bit, Words will always be around so slow down with the talking" I hear everything inside my head, but my mouth has a mind of it's own. I don't even have to be talking about anything important
And usually whatever I am talking about isn't.
And I wouldn't say that i like to hear the sound of my voice, because when I listen to my voice on voicemail or something I can't stand it....... so basically you get the point.. I am a good talker and rambler (just incase you haven't figured that out by now)

So I naturally assumed that I would be good at this blogging thing..... WRONG... I draw a blank sooo many time. There is so much I want to write or I try to write but when it comes to typing it out... I just can't do it. I get stuck, and it is soooo ANNOYING.

Not to mention I have been reading a lot of different bloggers lately and let me tell you there are some amazing ladies out their that know how to blog!!!! Am I intimidated?? probably they write so well and use such descriptive words-- I just capitalize my words to make it "creative"

Anyways to you ladies who rock with the blogging please keep it up - I love it
And for all of you that read my blog - I will continue to post pictures with some descriptive text beneath, and will continue with my talking in person-- oh Lord help us all!!

Scary Night

2009-01-16T16:35:00.000-08:00

We had to take Olivia to the ER last night- Cohen has the croup and she had a fever and was having a hard time breathing so we were afraid that she might have the croup as well. So we called our doctor and they recommended taking her to the ER- so last night at 10:30 on the coldest night in 5 years-- we took our precious little 5 week old to Clarian. Praise God she did not have the croup but bronchilitis (i obviously don't know how to spell that) they gave her a breathing treatment and she is doing okay-- We have to keep giving her breathing treatments but she is going to make it :)

She was a very very good baby today - even with the hard night and she has just been so precious and smiley today so I thought i would share these photos and video!!

A new photo is needed!!

2009-01-13T10:50:00.001-08:00

Olivia is a month old and this picture I guess isn't even the newest but I do love it so, so I picked this one to post!!

She is changing so much all the time - and I can't believe she is 5 weeks tomorrow!!

She is our amazing little girl so I just had to share :)

Happy Birthday Mom

2009-01-05T18:32:00.000-08:00

To all the other mom's out there-- I am sorry- but I have the bestest of them all :) She is so amazing-- and I think I find new ways of being thankfull for her all the time. She has the best heart in the world and loves with everything she has- And even though people say it all the time... it is true your appreciation for your mom grows when you have your own, and you realize just how much they loved you and would do anything for you!! Having a daughter I think had brought that to a new level. And I now pray with all my heart that I will be Godly example to my Olivia as my mom was (and still is to me)

She is Amazing and with ALL my HEART mom

I LOVE YOU

So I don't know why

2009-01-02T12:43:00.000-08:00

but I go forever with out writting any posts- and then there comes a day, a special day- when Cohen actualy takes a nap, and Olivia decides to not eat every hour and I can sit online and look- and when i look at other peoples stuff (blogs i mean) it gets me thinking-

what I am thinking now is that i want traditions, traditions that i can pass along to my kids that they will remember a lifetime. But why do i feel stuck? I feel like I have no traditions of myself to pass along , or to simply just create with them?

So does anyone have any good traditions they want to share :)
I promise when my kids fall in love with your ideas I will give all the credit back to you :)

Happy 30th Steve

2009-01-02T11:49:00.000-08:00

i love you baby hot wing sauce and all!!

How will I ever do it??

2009-01-02T11:20:00.000-08:00

Okay so this may be the most journally (is that a word) post I have written- so here it goes......

Having kids is such an amazing thing, and yet it is the most exhausting thing ever! I have two little ones, and one big one, and I am dying....... How do people do it? how did all my aunts that have a million kids do it? how do those moms that walk through the grocery store with four kids climbing on her and she seems fine do it? I can barely do it with 2 1/2 ( and i say david is a half because he is so grown up and independent ) that he is sooo easy ( until the 10 year old attitude creeps in, but that is a whole other post)

I know that I am a good mom, but it is soo easy to doubt all of that when you feel like it takes me all day to get a shower accomplished-- it is a whole new world by adding one more little one to the bunch - and i know with time it becomes easier but at this point- there feels that there is no end in sight--

so again I asked - how do all those moms with lots o' kids, still have their hair,their sanity, their teeth brushed, And a shower

new years eve

2008-12-31T20:11:00.000-08:00

it's 11:12 and i am so tired--- do i really need to stay up and watch a ball fall from the sky?? I am sitting watching Steve and Andy play videogames and thinking my bed would be so much nicer

What do you think?

What a Week

2008-12-18T17:49:00.000-08:00

so sorry to all of you that read my blog religiously-- i know there are soo many of you :)
anyways - life as you can imagine has been a little crazy and even though updating my blog has been on my mind it has been pushed aside many times- Here are some photos of my week- they are out of order- the newest ones first- but still you get the idea-
Olivia Faith is a perfect little baby girl!!! She is even already sleeping 6 hours straight at night and she is only a week old-- sorry all you jealous moms :)
it is funny I still feel exhausted and feel like I am only getting like 2 hours of sleep a night - Cohen is starting to warm up to her, he gave her her first kiss today - up until now he has kept his distance, which is probably the best thing - but I think he is starting to realize she is not going away- David of course is amazing and loves her soo much - Enjoy the photos- hopefully i will be able to post more soon :)her first bath

cohen was so excited to watch and help out

she wasn't a big fan of the bath

one week old-- is that a smile :)

cohen's latest way of entertaining himself

my beautiful BEAUTIFUL children :) My heart is full !!!

I Promise

2008-12-16T17:32:00.001-08:00

I promise I promise...... I will update soon - just not now :)

While I continue to wait

2008-12-07T08:09:00.000-08:00

I thought for sure my next post would be beautiful pictures of my teeny tiny new baby girl, and I guess I could have waited another couple of days but I had such a good weekend with my boys that I just had to share!!

After I made a yummy breakfast of biscuts and gravy for David, and pancakes for Cohen- I set down to take a little break, I looked away for just a minute and then realized that my little man was getting into no good- When I saw what he was doing it cracked me up and I had to show

He loved organizing all of our sliverware onto the rug- and then he stood next to it so proudly - and then laid down next to it so I could take his photo

Then David had his first basketball game on Saturday morning, it was his first ever game and he did sooo well - I am soo proud of you David!!!

And last but certainly not least- WED I will be delivering my beautiful baby girl!!! :)

Praise God I get to hug and kiss her soon !!!

OH So Bad

2008-12-02T17:11:00.000-08:00

I was depressed today and I totally ate my way through the day --- and now I feel soooo sick and I am totally paying for it-
I started my day with eggs and peanut butter and honey toast--- it was a good start to the day !
Then I went with Cohen to do some errands and ended up picking up a spiced mocha latte from dunkin doughnuts, and if that wasn't enough I also got a sausage, egg, and cheese croissant.
I came home, put Cohen to bed and scarfed down TWO that's right TWO LARGE Chocolate Chip Cookies, and Ruffles potato chips with French Onion dip.

I ended up eating dinner and it was Campbell's Corn Chowder-

SERIOUSLY.. this baby girl better get out!!!!

Someone LOVES his Jelly!!

2008-11-26T20:38:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

2008-11-21T05:45:00.000-08:00

It is 8:45 on Friday and I am waiting for the phone to ring to find out if I will be having a Nephew or a Niece this April!!! I am soooo excited I can not stand it!! It obviously is a blessing to have children, but to watch your brother and sister-in-law experience this for the first time, there is something so thrilling and extra special about it - I am excited beyond belief

and SECONDLY...... you can guess......
I am waiting for this little girl to arrive, but my patience is very very thin :(

Oh dear Lord, today would be a GREAT DAY to have a baby :)

Don't you agree

Steve...

2008-11-09T13:50:00.000-08:00

I just want to see you
When youre all alone
I just want to catch you if I can
I just want to be there
When the morning light explodes
On your face it radiates
I cant escape
I love you till the end
I just want to tell you nothing
You dont want to hear
All I want is for you to say
Why dont you just take me
Where Ive never been before
I know you want to hear me
Catch my breath
I love you till the end
I just want to be there
When were caught in the rain
I just want to see you laugh not cry
I just want to feel you
When the night puts on its cloak
Im lost for words dont tell me
All I can say
I love you till the end

36 weeks

2008-11-06T18:09:00.000-08:00

I haven't really been keeping up with the belly shots this pregnancy so I thought I would post one for ya

I'm ready -- bring it on little girl!!!!

Also incase you are in need of a little preciousness in your day I thought I would post this for you as well :) EnjoyHe loves for me to take photos of himself and then to show him what he looks like on the camera

And last but not least another cute video on my precious little bug!!

Go Dad!!

2008-11-02T05:05:00.000-08:00

I am so proud of my dad!! Not only did he run the Indy Marathon today but he ran the whole thing while being sick!!!! I can't believe him-- I am so proud of him he amazes me all the time :)

crossing the finish line-- YAY!!!

Halloween Fun

2008-11-02T04:33:00.001-08:00

We had a great trick or treat night-- we had little lion (who actually wore his lion head) and if you know anything about Cohen you know he hates anything on his head-- so i was thrilled when he wore his lion head for 2 whole hours!!! David had his friend Steven over to trick or treat and they went as Bart and Homer- They got a ridiculous amount of candy so I am pretty sure the night was a success!!

Happy Birthday Big Boy Cohen!!!

2008-10-25T19:53:00.000-07:00

Cohen is officially two !! I can't believe my baby boy is 2!!! And once again you always here how fast time flies and it is sooo true. Lunch at Chuck E Cheese with, of course Basketball included - and then dinner at Red Robin-- Yummy!!

He Loves his pizza :) Dinner with the fam at Red Robin

The next day we his birthday party- We started out at West Park for PumpkinFest- It was freazing cold, but we stayed long enough for the kids to have fun playing pumpkin games and getting candy prizes!! But because of the stupid cold Indiana weather- we quickly moved the party to our house- where the kids played, ate pizza, cakes and had a blast!! It was a great 2nd birthday if I do say so myself :)

Cohen and his Friend Myles

2008-10-25T19:32:00.001-07:00

This is Cohens friend Myles!! Don't they look like brothers :)
Myles is 6 months older then Cohen and lives down the street- Cohen knows exactly how to get to his house and loves to drive his bike to visit him all the time :) God has blessed us with a wonderful family that lives close by!! Myles mom and I took her three boys to Bounce Planet- Cohen actually loved the bouncey things this time(last time we went for a birthday party he hated them) But of course they had an arcade that had baskestballs so of course most of our time was spent there!!! Either way we both had a great time and can't wait to go back !!!

Cohen and Myles riding a roller coaster together

He spent most of his time here- no surprise there!!

and once he tried to do something besides basketall he decided it was much easier to climb up into the cage to throw the balls in the holes

Awww.....

2008-10-20T18:57:00.000-07:00

Okay so my cousin posted this for me and it is soo sweet so check it out :)

http://www.kristi-spillingmysecrets.blogspot.com/

David's Football

2008-10-07T17:35:00.001-07:00

David had an awesome year this year in Football!!! He was on the Michigan Team and they rocked!! He had some tough coaches but he really liked them and they were just what he needed to get better at football- They made it through the first round in the playoffs but lost the second game :(
We are soo proud of him and can't wait until next year!!!

our little bug got a boo boo

2008-10-07T17:27:00.000-07:00

so sad :(

He was dancing with David and got so excited that he ran right into a table and split his head open between his eyes- It was horrible to see but praise the Lord it wasn't any worse!!

Also......

2008-10-05T18:08:00.000-07:00

Incase you were not aware of just how good my sister-in-law was at photography, I thought I would show you some of her best work (of course I think she had the cutest little boy in the world to shoot!!)

He is not quite 2 yet, but these are his 2 years photos-- Isn't he a doll :)

Melt My Heart!!!

Oh Melt It Again....

And Again!!

Growing Up To Fast :(

2008-10-05T15:57:00.000-07:00

So last night we moved Cohen up to his Big Boy Room- Our master bedroom is on the main floor, and the nursery is right next door to us. For the past year Cohen has been right next door to us, and we have been planning a talking to Cohen about moving upstairs with David for awhile now. I have wanted to make sure that Cohen was upstairs and comfortable in his new room before Baby Girl got here and Cohen was "kicked out" of his room. Well.... for some reason yesterday I just had the itch to move Cohen and in my mind it had to be done yesterday-- I knew it was going to be hard for him whenever we did it so I figured it was better to do it now the to delay it any longer. Soo we did and wow what a long night it was...... but what was most surprising was how sad I was about the whole thing-- as soon as I put him down for the first time and came downstairs, the upstairs now seemed miles and miles away from me :( I hated feeling like my little baby boy was so far away. I didn't sleep much at all last night, mostly because Cohen kept waking up and was scared because he didn't know where he was, but also because I felt that a part of me was missing because my baby boy was now a big boy upstairs :(
Tonight is another night, and even though Cohen went down much easier tonight, it still riped my heart out to hear him cry because he was scared to be left alone.

There have been plenty of things that have surprised me about being a mom, but this is the most recent-- I mean how will I handle his first sleep over, if I can't even make it through the night with him one floor above me???

So Annoying

2008-10-01T18:38:00.000-07:00

So I don't get online during the day anymore because Steve usually is on it working, which is great, but I am always thinking of things that I need to do online later on, or things that I want to blog about. I always have all these great "plans" for what I want to do when it is my turn at night with the computer---
and then sadly, that time comes around and...... nothing.... I can't remember a darn thing :(

So sad I know!!!

You would think......

2008-09-25T12:01:00.000-07:00

that being home would give me more time to update this blog, but it is the complete opposite!! Now I am hardly ever in front of the computer- where as in an office I was always in front of one, but now there is no need -- Yay for me :)

but sorry for the delay in posting.... Cohen and I have been so busy paying and having fun

ahhh... life is precious

No More Job

2008-09-18T14:02:00.000-07:00

I think that legally this is all I should post right now--- But things are going down and that is all I can say about that!!!

SO THRILLED TO ANNOUNCE!!!!!

2008-09-11T12:28:00.001-07:00

http://bryanbabe.blogspot.com/

WAHOO!!!!!!!! Can not hardly wait :)

Job Update

2008-09-07T18:52:00.000-07:00

So this might be my last week with a job outside of the house-- to follow up from a previous e-mail in regards to a BIG e-mail that I sent to my boss-
I ended up having a conference call with the Homes & Land HR rep and the "boss" who sat right across from me during the conference call --- uhhhh...... can we so AWKWARD!!!! The conference call was pretty ridiculous- it as basically a way for my company to cover their butts in regards to my 30 day probation. It was a ridiculous phone call and basically it comes down to the point that I will be having another conference call on Sept 15th - to determine if I stay or if I go---- Soooo this week should be really interesting!!!

--The Greatest Show On Earth--

2008-09-05T07:59:00.000-07:00

We got a chance to go to the Circus last night!! Thanks Mark & Kathy!!! They called last night around 6:00 and told us that they had free tickets if we wanted to go- and of course I said YES!! Steve was a little hesitant and didn't want to go because he thought it was the Shrine Circus at the State Fair (which I still would have gone to that one too) but when he realized it was the "real circus" at Conseco he was so excited!! So we got everyone in the car and headed to the Circus. When we walked in to our seats we were up pretty high and it was dark and Cohen was shaking like crazy - I held him on my lap and it was so funny to feel his whole body continually shake-- And then it wasn't just shaking I felt........ it was a little to warm for my liking. That's right - I don't know if it was because he was scared or excited but he pee'd all on himself and my leg- OH BOY for Mommy :)
I took him to the bathroom and dried his pants off with the dryer and the rest of the night was smooth sailing!!

He actually really liked it even though this picture may not show it

David trying so hard to get Cohen to look at the camera-- As you can see Cohen was fighting him quite a bit :)

He loved the little dogs

And the Elephants

I think all in all he loved his first trip to the circus-- Of course right around 9:00 he started saying his new word "HOOOOME" very loudly -- he was ready to go and he made sure everyone around new that he was done with this Circus thing and it was time to go HOME!!

Our Little Sailor Man!

2008-09-05T07:53:00.000-07:00

So I found this outfit in a drawer last night and it was Steve's when he was a little boy and I just loved it and had to get a couple pictures of Cohen in Daddy's clothes!! He has outgrown the sleeved a bit but the pants fit great :) I don't know if we will be heading out to a boat anytime soon, but if we do we will have the clothes to wear

Love this photo-- He loves his Daddy so much :)

Seriously......

2008-09-04T11:08:00.000-07:00

okay so it is really really bad, but I am sooo addicted to these little guys-- I mean I thougt I bought them for Cohen as a snack, but I am pretty sure that I have eaten 95% of the box and I just bought them YESTERDAY. YIKES!!!

Plans

2008-09-04T07:50:00.000-07:00

I am now 7 months pregnant and I can't believe it!!! I am starting to feel very tired all over again :( Not enjoying that at all )
But I am enjoying my new love of SPRAY PAINT!!! I am going a little overboard according to Steve "She is still floating around in my uterus" (is that too graphic??) and yet I am spray painting everything for her room, and the clothes.... well let's just say I know that all the mom's out their with little girls will understand, but can you please make my husband understand for me :)

I was talking to a friend this morning about God's plan for our lives--- And I am again, reminded and totally blessed that I have such an awesome God that cares enough for me to have a plan for my life and a plan for my children--- I all to often think, wish, hope, pray that my plan is the one that He wants to go by. But every time I look back I am so thankful that my plans were over turned by HIM who knows me best!!! Even though I may not like it at that time -- Thank You God for not "giving in" to what I want with my life

Continue to show me Your Paths for My Life!!

Freaking Out

2008-08-25T07:10:00.000-07:00

I just sent a really really important and maybe life changing e-mail to my boss, and her boss, and her boss-- And I am not thinking about the bomb shelter I should climb into

AHHHH..... I am sitting here shaking in my chair-- I will let you know the outcome!!!

Two More Gems by Phil Whickham

2008-08-22T09:32:00.000-07:00

Yours Alone

Lord You are the anchor
Refuge in the storm
Your words are wisdom
Shining in the dark
I hear Your voice on the water
I feel Your touch in the wind
Your above and beneath me
Surround my heart again

And I know that You are good
God I know that all You do is good

So I put my life in Your hands
I’m Yours alone, I’m Yours alone
Surrender, Lord I raise my hands
To You alone, to You alone

Lord Your voice guides me
So Tell me what to do
Your heart it drives me
To follow after You

BEAUTIFUL

I see Your face in every sunrise
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the dayI look up to the sky and say You’re beautiful

I see Your power in the moonlit night
Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright
We are amazed in the light of the stars
It’s all proclaiming who you areYou’re beautiful
I see you there hanging on a tree
You bled and then you died and then you rose again for me
Now you are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You’re beautiful

When we arrive at eternity’s shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we’ll singYou’re beautiful
I see Your face, I see Your face, I see Your face
You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful