Some Days it's Hard, and some Days are even Harder

I don't want to repeat my "poor poor little pregnant me routine" But some days lately are very hard to get out of bed.

Everything hurts

I'm always still very tired

and the kids are not

They are whinning in a manor that makes me wish the day was already over and it was night time again

I head straight to the shower to escape and think of my reasonings for birthing children and why I ever did it in the first place?



Why did I want to put my body through this?

Why did I want to put my emotions though this?


Why can't I just take a peaceful shower without two precious kids crying and banging on the shower door for me to get out because they don't like to be away from me for more then 2.2 seconds



But then there are days - when i truly hear God speaking in his still small voice and telling what my purpose is


why I am here

why I do this

why the physical pain is worth it


it is a small voice and sometimes it's not even a voice... but the smile of my cohen, the giggle of my olivia, the kick of my baby boy, and the loudness of my david getting ready for school all by himself (PrAise God that He is capable of getting himself ready in the morning)



My purpose here is beyond what I can see or imagine, my purpose as their mom is to teach them about the Love of God

the Goodness of God

the Mercy of God

and most days i doubt my ability to do just that, God do I understand your Love, your Goodness, your Mercy?

if I don't then how do I show that to my children?

This is my purpose ... but I also think that it there purpose too... because right now they teach me in so many ways

God teaches me through them and for that I am forever greatful ( and I better learn quickly so God can stop blessing me with children to teach me things~!)