Ohhh..... the blog I have been dreading to post. Soooo as of now I have been "breastfeeding" and I use the quotes because it has been such an on and off thing.
It has been a HUGE struggle for me so far... and she is only 9 weeks- I had hopes to make it to 6 months.... We will see if I make it to 10 weeks.
I struggled breasfeeding with Cohen and I told myself while I was pregnant that if it didn't work with Olivia that I would just stop and not stress out about it
HA HA HA... oh how I wish it was that easy and no stress was involved!!
But now things are back to the same ole feelings .
(on a side note I am typing this post while watching American Idol and I am soo distracted by the not so good singers .. I don't even like this show, so why am I watching it?!?!?!)
Anyways back to the breasts, and by the way I can't believe I am actually writting a post about my boobs.. It has just been consuming my thoughts for so long... so why not get it "out there"
into the blog world -- right? (and why does Paula stand while people sing??so annoying!)
So back to my stress with breastfeeding... I decided to stop completely this morning after I pumped last night for almost 20 min and got just a few drops -- it was CRAZY and DEPRESSING. so this morning I said ENOUGH STRESS.... and I quite..... now it is 10:00pm and I just got done pumping .... Ahhhh.. I gave in
I was in so much pain after about 24hours of "quiting" so I just had to give in for some relief.. and I actually got 4 ounces between the two (which is a HUGE amount for me)
Sooo now what?? Do I hold off for 24 hours and pump once a night for one bottle? Or do I just quite or do I keep trying
Ahhhhh..... why why why
Please someone just tell me what to do- Since I am sure you reading this are sooo interested in my breastfeeding plans :)
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5 comments:
oh I am not looking forward to this! I was so stressed with Gracyn and stressed over my milk supply that I think I made my body not make milk. Or something like that. I quit (notice how you spell quit, lol) after 2 weeks and I promised myself with this baby I will not let it stress me out. But I know that is so much easier said than done. Just a thought, some women NEVER let down to a pump, you may be making a lot more milk than you think but your not going to see it from pumping. Go off Olivia and how satisfied she is. If you wait all day your supply is really going to decrease, so that is one way you could wean if you are really done. If you want to keep going then you need to keep sticking her on. Im sure I will have a post like this in a month or so through my hysterical tears of frustration! Hugs to you!!
Ok, I'm so sorry that I have no idea who you are...I randomly stumbled across your blog from Jeri Reutz...and your title drew me in because of my own problems with breastfeeding! I seriously struggled as well and ended up quitting at 4 months with my son...and SO wished that I had stuck it out! My advice...call a lactation consultant and have her come help you! Megan is right about pumping....sometimes you just can't pump. I thought I had a terrible supply because I couldn't pump well either, but I was just doing it wrong. (I'm not sure what kind of pump you have but I had the medela pump in style--you need to start out slow with a medium suction and then gradually bump up the speed and suction as you go because that is how your baby nurses). Anyways...aside from details I can't help you much but I've learned a lot in hindsight and hope to do much better the next time around! Feel free to e-mail me if you have more questions...but my biggest piece of advice is to just get help...I know its embarassing, but really it so worth it! And of course....formula feeding is a perfectly find alternative. My kid is happy, healthy and a genius and he only nursed for four months :-) Its all up to what you want to do! Praying for you :-)
Kim Brown
Thanks Ladies for your advice!! We will see what happens. I really don't mind switching to formula, and I think that is my major problem, I would probably switch to formula right away and be less stressed if I knew I wouldn't feel like a "bad mom" for taking the easy way out. Cohen went on formula after a one month major struggle, and I feel like he turned out very healthy, but the whole time I felt like people looked down on me. And I know it's stupid that I care what people think of me and my breastfeeding choice but I do Ughh.....
okay. I need to comment. I always felt that if my struggles with raising children can some day encourage other young mothers, then I will give my advice...when I am asked. You asked! Christina, you have gotten across one of the biggest hurdles of life by humbling yourself and asking! Seems simple? Not for many people. I applaud you.
First, you cannot function in guilt. I can't say that enough. You need to wrestle with yourself and God over not feeling guilty about your mothering. Pour it out to God and He will (eventually) free you from it. Give yourself some space. I think guilt is just a human part of mothering. There is always something new, so learn to deal with it soon!
Second, you may have a reason why nursing just doesn't work the same with you as others. You are unique and not everyone's methods will work for you. They might, but that's why you can't feel guilt b/c you may never know the exact reasons.
Third, just let her nurse if it makes you both happy at the moment. Don't see it as her food nourishment, just close Mommy time. If she needs to have formula after that, fine, give her some. Enjoy the snuggling.
Finally. Pumping is a joke for some people. Me, being one of them. I never could pump for any of my 6 kids. I think I stopped trying after baby 4, but I didn't try so hard by then.
Take a deep breath and know that God has allowed you to raise these kids. He is so forgiving for what we may see as our mistakes. We are all making mistakes, God sees the humble and contrite heart.
Much love to you.
Hi Christina! Don't worry about it, because IT DOES NOT MAKE A "WORLD OF DIFFERENCE" as many people say. I tried so hard to breastfeed and was not able. And yes, I felt like less of a mom for about 1 week, until my very insightful dad said, "Who cares? This is not a big issue! Just feed the kid." It is a performance issue for women, because undeniably, one of the 1st questions people ask is "Are you breastfeeding?" Cut the tension and say, "No, I am giving my kid Mountain Dew in a bottle" the next time someone asks. Hang in there, and do what is comfortable and REASONABLE for you. -Erica Iles
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